Your client has explored what’s happening with her goal to make a career transition. You ask, “What can you do to move forward?” You wait about 15 seconds—your client doesn’t say anything. You rephrase the question and ask, “What are your options?’’ And you wait for about 10 seconds—your client doesn’t say anything. Then you say, “Here are 3 things you could do.…”
 
Not good. Why? Because by suggesting options you did the work your client is supposed to do. Because your suggestions interrupted some really good ideas your client was having—she wasn’t sitting there doing nothing. Because you hear your client say, “I appreciate your willingness to help. I was coming up with some good ideas, and when you gave your suggestions, I focused on listening to you. Now I’m having trouble remembering what I was thinking.” Ouch.
 
Question: How often to you refrain from suggesting options?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from suggesting options. Things that help me do this include the following:

1. Remembering that silence indicates reflection, not the absence of reflection.
2. Remembering that brainstorming options helps my client get motivated for action. And I want my client motivated for action.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from suggesting options?

Your client is talking about what’s happening with his goal to plan more effectively. You easily relate to this—a few years back you had a similar goal. Since then, you’ve done research on planning, coached 27 clients who are working on planning, and developed a 5-phase planning framework.
 
As you listen to your client, you think, “He’s at phase 2.” Your client pauses, and you hear yourself say, “As best I can tell, you’re in phase 2—you’re working and you have a plan. Since you don’t yet have a good documented plan, you follow your gut more than your plan.”
 
Then you recognize that you just described your client’s reality—something you don’t want to do. Because you want your client thinking, and when you describe your client’s reality, he’s not thinking.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from describing your client’s reality?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from describing your client’s reality. Two things that help me do this are:

1. Remembering that my client is the expert in his life—not me. He knows his reality.
2. Remembering that my goal is to get my client thinking about his reality.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from describing your client’s reality?

You ask your client, “What would you like to accomplish as a result of talking today?” Your client responds, “I didn’t really think about what I wanted to accomplish today. Nothing’s coming to mind. Got any ideas?”
 
This has happened with this client before. You quickly process through previous coaching sessions and think of 3 possible goals for the session. And you say, “How about how to handle email more effectively, how to make more time to talk with the kids, or how to more effectively target personal strengths?”
 
After asking the question, you realize that you’re suggesting goals for the coaching session. This is something you don’t want to do. Why? Because your client grows as she takes responsibility for identifying goals for a coaching session.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching sessions. Things that help me do this include the following:

1. Sharing with new and current clients that they are responsible for setting goals for coaching sessions and that setting goals helps them grow.
2. Recognizing that if a client doesn’t have a goal for a session, now is a good time to have the client develop a list of goals.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from suggesting goals for the coaching session?

The GROW process is a user-friendly process you can use to coach others (Goal • Reality • Options • Will do).  

If you want to empower others, use a coaching approach.

What helps me get my goals accomplished? Developing my own action steps, action steps that I’m motivated to take and that are SMART. I don't have the same success rate when someone else develops the action steps and when the action steps are not SMART.
 
I’m sold on developing my own SMART action steps. And when I work with others, I work to focus them on developing their own SMART action steps.
 
Question: How often do you focus others on developing SMART action steps?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps. What helps me do this consistently is asking questions like:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
• Attainable: How doable is this?
• Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
• Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps?
 
*To learn more about focusing others, click here.

When I think of improving my coaching, 3 areas come to mind. Those 3 areas are beliefs, skills, and process. 

We all want to accomplish our goals. To accomplish our goals, we need to take action steps. I’ve found that the SMARTer the action step, the more likely I am to accomplish it. A SMART action steps is:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Relevant
• Timebound

“Get in shape” is not a SMART action step, and it’s actually not that easy to accomplish. “Walk for 30 minutes 3 times per week for 1 month” is a SMART action step, and it’s actually easier to accomplish than “Get in shape.”
 
Question: How often do you empower others to develop SMART action steps for each of their goals?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to develop SMART actions steps for each of their goals. If the person you’re talking to develops general action steps, help them SMARTen them up by asking questions like:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
• Attainable: How doable is this?
• Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
• Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to develop SMART action steps for each of their goals?
 
*To learn more about coaching others on taking action, click here.

Sometimes I get stuck. I have a problem, and I can’t find a way to solve it. Then, I remember to brainstorm my options, to think outside the box. In short order, I’m unstuck and on my way to solving my problem. Brainstorming works for me. And I’ve found that brainstorming helps others.
 
Question: How often do you empower others to brainstorm options?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to brainstorm options. To help others brainstorm options, I like to ask “What are your options?” and “What else?”
 
Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to brainstorm options?
 
*To learn more about coaching on options, click here.

You want to achieve your goal. And you want to take action now! Ever feel like that? I have. I like the energy, but I don’t necessarily like the results.
 
Why? Because when I take action without reflecting on my current reality, I forget to take into account things like family plans and my overall workload. What happens? I achieve things I don’t want (like family disharmony and personal fatigue), and I don’t achieve my goal.
 
Question: How often do you empower others to explore their current reality?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently empower others to explore their current reality. What helps me do this is asking open-ended questions:

• What’s happening?
• How do you feel about this?
• How is God using _______ in your life?
• What are some other ways to look at this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently empower others to explore their reality?
 
*To learn more about coaching others on the reality of their goals, click here.

You’re coaching Toru. You have 30 minutes to help Toru achieve his goal. To use this time effectively, make sure you are clear on Toru’s goal. Otherwise, you’ll waste Toru’s time by asking irrelevant questions.
 
Question: How often are you clear on the other person’s goal?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Read More...

Through Christian coaching, you can empower others to pursue God’s call. To get an idea of how you can empower others even more effectively, complete the following self-assessment that addresses coaching beliefs, skills, and process. Read More...

Want to help others pay attention to their goals? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are your goals?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you like/dislike about paying attention to your goals?
4. How does paying attention to your goals help you accomplish them?
5. If you paid more attention to your goals, what might happen?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you pay to your goals?
7. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you want to pay to your goals?
8. What helps you pay attention on your goals?
9. What will you do?

“This coaching series has been life changing,” says Trudi, a secretary at an international Christian school in Singapore. It’s her final coaching session. She adds, “I’ve gotten a better understanding of God’s calling for me. My personal mission statement gives me something to focus on. And the 5 goals I’ve developed for carrying out my mission help me take action on my mission. I want to keep at it.”
 
Question: What can you ask Trudi? Read More...

Want to help others prioritize? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are you working on?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you want to accomplish in the next month?
4. Which of these things would you categorize as big priorities? Medium priorities? Small priorities?
5. What can you do to ensure that the big priorities get accomplished?
6. What do you think you’ll do?
7. Would you like to talk again about your priorities?

“One of my overall goals is to provide resources for church members that help them pursue God’s calling,” says Bill, a pastor of a 250-member congregation in London.
 
It’s Bill’s first coaching session, and for the next 30 minutes, you ask Bill questions to provoke him to reflect. Read More...

It's important to pursue your God-given calling. Reflecting can help. Here are 7 questions you can reflect on.

“This coaching series has helped me clarify God’s calling,” says Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia. “I like my personal mission statement: Empowering Christians to pursue God’s calling." Read More...

You’re coaching Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia who wants to clarify God’s calling. She’s made good progress. She’s developed a mission statement, identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish in order to carry out her mission, and reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her goals. During her last coaching session, she reflected on what helps and hinders her in achieving her goals. Read More...

Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia, has been working for several weeks to clarify God’s calling. In previous coaching sessions, she’s:

• Identified 4 problems and 3 opportunities she’s passionate about & blessed by God to address.
• Developed a mission statement.
• Identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish to carry out her mission.
• Reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her 6 goals.

Read More...

Three weeks ago, Tim was appointed as field director for his mission. Sitting across the table from you, he says, “Being a mission field director is challenging. I feel good about my new role. I’ve been asking God how He wants me to use the gifts He’s given me, and He answered—I’m now the field director. Read More...

You’re coaching Mark, a math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. He wants to clarify God’s calling. In previous sessions, he identified the problems/opportunities he’s passionate about and blessed by God to address. He also drafted a personal mission statement: Equipping Christians to live for Jesus. Read More...

“What I want to do is to develop a personal mission statement,” says Mark, a high school math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. “I’m fairly clear on the problems/opportunities God is calling me to address. Having a mission statement will help me focus on these problems/opportunities.”
 
Question: What can you ask Mark? Read More...

Imagine that you are a church planter in Japan. Imagine that you want your church members to think about a current challenge. What can you do? You can use the GROW process. Read More...

You’re listening to Carla, a 43-year-old office worker. She’s experiencing significant change, including a new home, a new pastor at church, and her youngest child starting high school. Carla tells you that as a result of the changes she’s experiencing, she’s more sensitive to her own needs and the needs of others. Read More...

You’re pursuing God’s calling. Good. Three weeks ago, you developed a list 5 goals that are part of pursuing God’s calling:

1. Pray more.
2. Make spouse happy.
3. Answer email immediately.
4. Coach students.
5. Provide training for Christian schools.

Now, you’re seated at your desk, reflecting on your goals. Read More...

You’re coaching Bob. He shares that he’s turning 47, his oldest child is now a freshman in college, his best friend recently moved to the United Kingdom, and he’s thinking about changing careers. As Bob talks about what’s he’s experiencing, it becomes clear that Bob wants to clarify God’s calling in his life. He wants to develop a personal mission statement and to design goals to achieve that mission statement.
 
Question: What can you ask Bob to help him get started? Read More...

Three weeks ago, Tim was appointed as field director for his mission. Sitting across the table from you, he says, “Being a mission field director is challenging. I feel good about my new role. I’ve been asking God how He wants me to use the gifts He’s given me, and He answered—I’m now the field director." Read More...

Church planters work hard and need support, encouragement, and accountability. They also need someone to provoke them to reflect.

You can help by asking church planters questions like...

• What's a church?
  
• What are the practical implications of Christians being a priesthood of believers?
  
• Within a church, what's the role of the missionary? the laity?
  
• What's success?

What do you want to do? Things I want to do include living in a cottage in the Lake District. Read More...

You have identified your goal. You’ve thought about what’s currently going on regarding the goal. Now you want to take action to achieve your goal. Good. Read More...

You have established a key goal, one that will make a difference at work and at home. You’re committed to your goal, and you want to take action. Read More...

You want to empower others. You want to empower others to focus on their goals, work smart, and pursue their callings. And you have decided to use the GROW process, a 4-step process that moves a person from goal to action. Read More...

I believe 3 things about you and about me:

1. We want our lives to count for God, so we want to effectively use our limited resources.
   
2. We want to grow, and we grow as we take responsibility to define our goals.
   
3. When we define our goals, we clarify how we want to make our lives count for God and, consequently, how we can more effectively use our limited resources.

Read More...

People you know want to grow. Your family members want to grow. Your work colleagues want to grow. Your fellow church members want to grow.
Read More...

You want to help a colleague achieve her goal. You need a process and a list of key skills. You need GROW LIFE. Read More...