Your client wants to better organize the files in his computer. So you ask him questions like: How are your computer files organized now? What do you like/dislike about the way your computer files are organized? What does being “better organized” look like? In terms of being organized, what do you want to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing?
 
Your client responds to your questions and does some effective reflection. He brainstorms some possible action plans and decides to talk with Martin about how to better organize computer files. You ask, “What else will you do?” You wait for about 10 seconds—your client doesn’t come with another action step. Then you say, “You should organize your files in terms of your job roles….”
 
Not good. Why? Because by suggesting action steps, you could be interrupting your client’s thinking. Because by suggesting action steps, you are doing your client’s work for him. Because by suggesting action steps, you are acting like a consultant, not a coach.
 
My point: Make sure you consistently refrain from advising others on what actions to take.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from advising others on what actions to take?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from advising others on what actions to take?

By asking questions like:

1. What’s excellence?
2. What’s satisfying/unsatisfying about pursuing organizational excellence?
3. For your ministry, what does organizational excellence look like?
4. What can you do to pursue organizational excellence?
5. What will you do?

Your client is sharing the results of the 2 action steps she’s taken to get better life balance. She walked for 30 minutes each day and is feeling more relaxed. And when her supervisor asked her to design a newsletter, she responded with, “I’m happy to design a newsletter. What would you like me to stop working on in order do this?” Her supervisor said she should stop work on a promotional video!
 
You look at your client and say, “You’ve made real progress on getting better life balance. You accomplished your 2 action steps. You’re more relaxed, and you took on a new task without increasing your overall workload. Good for you!” Your client has a big smile on her face. She looks encouraged.
 
My point: Use affirmation to encourage others.
 
Question: How often do you use affirmation to encourage others?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently use affirmation to encourage others. And when you give affirmation, make sure your affirmation is:

1. Growth-centered
2. Relevant
3. Authentic
4. Client-focused
5. Energizing
6. Specific

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently use affirmation to encourage others?

By asking questions like:

1. What’s your ministry?
2. How do you feel about your ministry and your workload?
3. How interested are you in getting more done in the same amount of time?
4. What helps you work efficiently and effectively? What doesn’t help you?
5. What can you do to work smarter?
6. What will you do?

I’m talking with a friend about how I can more effectively help an organization build capacity. I share that I’m not sufficiently aware of how the organization is responding to my recommendations. My friend asks, “What do you mean by ‘not sufficiently aware’?” I explain that I get no feedback so I don’t know which (if any) recommendations the organization has processed, and I don’t know what the organization thinks of my recommendations.
 
Then I go on to describe how I got involved with the organization. I share that the organization has asked me to submit recommendations in writing and that I don’t have the opportunity to discuss my recommendations with someone on staff. My friend asks, “So are you saying that you want to talk through your recommendations with someone in the organization?”
 
I like his questions. I like his questions because they show he’s listening. And I like his questions because they show he’s interested in me and in what I’m saying. His use of clarification encourages me to keep thinking and to find ways to help the organization.
 
Question: How often do you use clarification to encourage others?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

My point: Make sure you consistently use clarification to encourage others.
 
Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently use clarification to encourage others?

In Japan, the listener shows that he’s listening by saying things like “hai hai,” (um hm) and “naruhodo” (I see). When the person talking hears these phrases, he’s encouraged to continue talking. In a real sense, these phrases are “encouragers.”
 
My point: Use “encouragers” to encourage your clients to keep talking and reflecting. When you’re coaching, say things like “yup,” “yes,” “um hmm,” “I see,” and “hmm.”
 
Question: How often do you use “encouragers” to encourage others?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Question: What will do to ensure that you consistently use “encouragers” to encourage others?

Ever been asked, “Why did you do that?” I have. While it does get me thinking, it also gets me feeling accused. And sometimes the feeling of being accused gets in the way of me thinking about why I did something.
 
The question “Why did you do that?” taps into childhood memories of really stupid things I’ve done (like when I was a young boy, I thought I could jump across a large manure pit, and fell in instead) and of my parents looking at me, wondering what I was thinking.
 
My point: If you want to help your coaching clients to reflect, and if you don’t want your clients feeling accused, refrain from asking “why” questions.
 
Question: How do often you refrain from asking “why” questions?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from asking “why” questions. One thing that helps me do this is asking questions that start with “what.” For example, “What caused you to do that?” (instead of “Why did you do that?”).
 
Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from asking “why” questions?

By asking questions like:

1. What’s your mission statement?
2. What excites/concerns you about the mission?
3. How does your work help achieve the mission?
4. What helps you achieve the mission? What gets in your way?
5. On a scale of 1-5 (5 being high), how focused are you on your mission statement?
6. What can you do to increase your focus?
7. What will you do?

A key reason I get coaching is because I want to understand and be understood. I want to understand, for example, what’s happening with a transition to living in a different culture for 6 months, how I feel about it, and how I can use it to further my goals. And I want to be understood—I want my coach to understand what I’m thinking and feeling, for example, about living in a different culture.
 
I don’t get coaching because I want to be judged. I don’t get coaching so I can hear my coach say things like “Living in a different culture is a bad idea” or “You shouldn’t feel apprehensive about living in a different culture” or “That’s a stupid action step.”
 
My point: If you want to help your coaching clients, listen to them. And when you listen, target understanding (not judging).
 
Question: How often do you target understanding?

1. Consistently?
2. Usually?
3. Sometimes?
4. Rarely?

Make sure you consistently target understanding. Things that help me do this include:

1. Remembering as a client how helpful it is when my coach really wants to understand me.
2. Remembering how much I dislike getting judged and how getting judging decreases my ability to reflect.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently target understanding?

I’ve gotten coaching on things that had obvious solutions. For example, I’ve gotten coaching on how avoid getting overloaded at a conference, when the (obvious) solution was to schedule down time. I’ve gotten coaching on which new goals to pursue, when the (obvious) solution was not to pursue any—my schedule was already full.
 
I’m glad that my coaches empowered me to discover effective action steps. I’m glad they didn’t say things like, “It’s a conference—you shouldn’t be focused on avoiding overload” or “Look, your schedule is already full, so thinking about which new goals to pursue is a bad idea.” I’m glad that coaches refrained from criticizing me.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from criticizing your client?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from criticizing your client. Things that help me do this include the following:

1. Remembering how criticism shuts down my thinking—and the thinking of my clients.
2. Focusing on helping my client discover action steps that will help him reach his goals.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from criticizing your client?

My client wants to prioritize her tasks. So, I start by asking questions like “What tasks need to get done?” and “What else?” My client mentions a variety of tasks, including updating materials for a workshop on personal productivity, finalizing a presentation on planning tools for the leadership team, and attending a network meeting of church planters. Then she pauses and says, “I really need to get after my workshop materials.”
 
I notice her emphasis on workshop materials. Instead of asking a question, I make an inviting statement: “You mentioned that you need to update workshop materials and then you came back to that again. Tell me more about that.” She shares that she’s concerned about the workshop materials and that she’s been wondering if she should expand the number of workshops she’s doing.

My point: Make inviting statements.
 
Question: How often do you make inviting statements?
 
Things that help me make inviting statements include the following:

1. Recognizing that inviting statements help me reflect.
2. Remembering that inviting statements are an effective alternative to questions.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you make inviting statements?

Do you want to empower others? Do you want to empower others to focus, solve problems, and achieve their goals? If so, provoke them. Provoke them to reflect. 
 
Reflection is powerful. Personally speaking, reflection helps me clarify my ministry goals, increase awareness of my progress, identify things that are hindering my progress, and develop action steps. In short, reflection helps me do ministry. 
 
I’ve seen reflection help fellow staff members at Christian Academy in Japan (CAJ). After reflecting, staff members were more focused on their goals, managed their time better, and led meetings more effectively.
 
But don’t take my word for it. I asked CAJ staff members to tell me how reflection empowers them. Here’s what they said: “Reflection helps me get clear on what’s going on so I can make effective decisions.” “Reflection helps me organize my tasks and next actions.” “Reflection helps me handle situations more effectively.”
 
So, how can you provoke reflection? By asking open-ended questions:

• If your co-worker wants to more effectively disciple others, ask: How do you disciple people now? What’s causing you to want to improve? What’s “more effective discipleship” look like? What can you do?
• If your team is planning an event, ask: What do we want to see happen? What will help this go well? Who’s going to do what?
• If a pastor is dealing with conflict, ask: What happened? How do you feel? How does the other person see the situation? How can you demonstrate Christ’s love?
• If a small group leader wants to help her members to be more engaged, ask: If your members got more engaged, what might happen? What helps your members get engaged? When are your participants not engaged? What can you do?

Bottom line: Empower other by asking questions.

*Want to empower others to ask questions? Then ask them questions like:

1. What problems are those around you facing?
2. What goals are they trying to achieve?
3. What excites/concerns you about empowering others by asking questions?
4. To what extent do you ask questions to help others focus? Prioritize? Solve problems?
5. How could you more effectively use questions to empower others?
6. What will you do?

Your mind is starting to wander. Your responses lack your usual focus and enthusiasm. When your calendar alarm goes off, you focus on it and miss a key thought your client has shared. And you’re concerned because you know these things indicate that you’re not really interested in what your client is saying.
 
Question: How often are you interested in what others say?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you’re consistently interested in what others say. Things that help me do this include the following:

1. Focusing on my client as a fellow Christian who is working to pursue his calling.
2. Making appropriate eye contact.
3. Removing distractions before I start coaching. For example, if I’m using videoconferencing to coach, I turn off all other software applications.

Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently are interested in what others say?

I’m watching missionaries, who are sitting in pairs, deeply engaged in conversation. These missionaries are asking each other key questions: What people/projects are you investing your energy in? What’s been satisfying/frustrating? What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction/frustration? How can I pray for you?
 
I’m thinking, “This is going pretty well. They’re more engaged than if I did the traditional style of devotions. They’re provoking each other to reflect. And they look like they’re having a good time. Having them use a set of questions worked.”
 
Want to provoke reflection throughout your mission? Have people in your mission use a set of questions to talk together.
 
For example, when you are starting a mission gathering and need an icebreaker, have participants ask each other a set of questions:  When you were in 5th grade, where did you live? What did you enjoy doing? What’s easy/challenging about living in this country? In your recent personal life, what’s been encouraging/discouraging? Overall, how are you feeling? How can I pray for you?
 
When you’re leading a team meeting and want team members to reflect on ministry goals, have team members ask each other a set of questions: What are your ministry goals? What progress on your goals have you experienced? What roadblocks have you experienced? How can you leverage your progress and minimize your roadblocks? You talked about _____ today—what do you think you’ll do?
 
When you’re leading a workshop on getting more organized, have participants ask each other a set of questions: What tools do you use to get organized? How do you feel when you’re organized/disorganized? For you, what does being organized look like? To get organized, what do you need to keep doing, start doing, and stop doing? What will you do?
 
Use the following set of questions to reflect on this article:

1. What is 1 thing from this article that interested you?
2. What excites/concerns you about provoking reflection throughout your mission?
3. How could using a set of questions help you provoke reflection?
4. When could you use a set of questions to provoke reflection?
5. What will you do?

Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are 5 frustrations you have?
2. How do you feel when these frustrations are present/not present?
3. How would you feel if you could reduce 1 or more of these 5 frustrations?
4. How would reducing 1 or more frustrations impact your ministry?
5. If you reduced all 5 frustrations, what might happen?
6. What helps you reduce your frustrations? What hinders you?
7. What’s 1 frustration you want to reduce?
8. What can you do to reduce that frustration?
9. What will you do?

By asking questions like:

1. What’s your mission statement?
2. What excites/concerns you about the mission?
3. How does your work help achieve the mission?
4. What helps you achieve the mission? What gets in your way?
5. On a scale of 1-5 (5 being high), how focused are you on your mission statement?
6. What can you do to increase your focus?
7. What will you do?

You want to help people. I do, too. One way to help people is by giving advice. But there are some definite downsides to giving advice:

• You might irritate someone by giving unsolicited advice.
• Your advice might work for you and not for the person you’re talking to.
• If someone takes your advice and it doesn’t work, that might harm your relationship.
• Giving advice doesn’t target developing the person into a better problem solver—it targets solving the immediate problem.

I don't want to irritate people, give advice that doesn’t work, put my relationships at risk, or only solve the immediate problem. I want people to solve their own problems by developing as problem solvers. So, I strive to refrain from giving advice.
 
Question: How often do you refrain from giving advice?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Strive to consistently refrain from giving advice. Strive to consistently focus on what others think in order to help them become better problem solvers. When you are tempted to give advice or when you find yourself focusing on what you are thinking, ask an open-ended question instead:

• What’s your goal?
• What’s going on?
• What are your options?
• What will you do?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently refrain from giving advice?

When coaching, listen, inquire, focus, and encourage.

If you want to empower others, use a coaching approach.

I like getting encouragement. I like it more than getting critiques. Encouragement feels better and actually results in me working more effectively.
 
I believe in the power of encouragement, so I want to encourage others. One way I encourage others is by listening to what they say. And one way I demonstrate that I’m listening is by restating what the other person has been saying. Through restatement I show I’ve been listening and that I want to understand. For example, I might say, “If I understand correctly, you’re saying that ___. Is that right?”
 
Question: How often do you use restatement to encourage others?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Strive to consistently use restatement to encourage others. To encourage others, say things like: So what I think I hear you saying is ___. Is that right?
 
Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently encourage others through restatement?
 
*To learn more about encouraging others, click here.

What helps me get my goals accomplished? Developing my own action steps, action steps that I’m motivated to take and that are SMART. I don't have the same success rate when someone else develops the action steps and when the action steps are not SMART.
 
I’m sold on developing my own SMART action steps. And when I work with others, I work to focus them on developing their own SMART action steps.
 
Question: How often do you focus others on developing SMART action steps?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps. What helps me do this consistently is asking questions like:

• Specific: What do you mean by ___?
• Measurable: How will you know when you’ve achieved your action step?
• Attainable: How doable is this?
• Relevant: How will this action step help you achieve your goal?
• Timebound: When will you do this?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently focus others on developing SMART action steps?
 
*To learn more about focusing others, click here.

Want to encourage coaching in your organization? One way I encourage coaching is by developing sets of questions to be used in meetings and workshops. As a result of using sets of questions in meetings and workshops, staff have shifted toward asking questions and away from giving advice.

In the planning sessions I'm facilitating today, participants are using the following sets of questions to help others reflect:

Set 1

1. What’s your mission?
2. What’s it take to carry out your mission?
3. What’s already been accomplished?
4. What helps you?
5. What hinders you?
6. What are your options?
7. What will you do to achieve your goals?

Set 2

1. What is your mission? What are your goals?
2. How would you categorize progress on your goals? Why?
3. To what extent do your current action steps help you address your goals?

Set 3

1. What topics did you talk about in your tactical meeting?
2. What action steps are you going to take before your next meeting?
3. What did you learn by trying out different roles?
4. What will help your team work together better?

Reflection is powerful. Reflection helps me identify my goals, better understand my current situation, and consider what I can do to move forward on my goals. I regularly take time to reflect and to encourage others to reflect.
 
How can you help others reflect? By asking open-ended questions. By asking questions like “What are your priorities?” and “What can you do to pursue God’s calling?”
 
Question: How often do you ask open-ended questions?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently ask open-ended questions. What has helped me to do this is:

• Reading books on open-ended questions, like Bobb Biehl’s Asking to Win.
• Developing a set of go-to questions, for example: What’s your goal? What’s going on? What can you do? What will you do?

Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently ask open-ended questions?
 
*To learn more about asking questions, click here.

When I think of improving my coaching, 3 areas come to mind. Those 3 areas are beliefs, skills, and process. 

Want to empower people? Want to develop leaders? Want to help others become better problem solvers and solve their problems? If so, try this one thing. It’s free. You can do it anywhere. And those you talk with like it.
 
What is it? It’s the 80/20 Rule. The 80/20 Rule says that in each conversation, you should listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time.
 
Question: How often do you talk 20% of the time?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently follow the 80/20 Rule. To do this, you’re going to have to keep the other person talking. What I do to keep others talking (so I can listen) is make inviting statements (Tell me more about that.) and ask open-ended questions like “What’s a key challenge you’re facing?”
 
Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently talk a maximum of 20% of the time?
 
*To learn more about listening, click here.

Leaders empower others. A key way leaders empower others is by asking questions.

Through Christian coaching, you can empower others to pursue God’s call. To get an idea of how you can empower others even more effectively, complete the following self-assessment that addresses coaching beliefs, skills, and process. Read More...

Missionaries want to proclaim the good news of Jesus. So, they do evangelism, baptize and disciple believers, and preach during worship services. God uses these activities to build His kingdom. These activities tend to flow from an advice-giving paradigm, rather than a question-asking paradigm.

Implications: Missionaries have more experience with giving advice than with asking questions. And missionaries value getting advice than more than getting asked questions—which is one reason they don't pursue getting coaching.

Question: How can you help missionaries value getting asked questions?

My answer: By publishing sets of coaching questions in a quarterly magazine (Japan Harvest) that missionaries I know read. By encouraging missions to publish short articles on asking questions. Here's an example.

Question: What strategies have you found useful in helping missionaries value getting asked questions?

Your client wants to clarify and strategically pursue God’s calling. That’s great!

Question: How can you empower your client to do this?
Read More...

To get an idea of how you can more effectively lead by asking questions, complete the following self-assessment (or download it here). Rate each item, using the following scale:

4: Consistently • 3: Usually • 2: Sort of • 1: Rarely

Lead from your heart
___ I trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of every believer.
___ I believe others can define and achieve their goals.
___ I target motivation, not information. Read More...

Ask questions to help those around you to focus, think through problems, and reach their goals. For example:

• If your co-worker wants to more effectively disciple others, ask: How do you disciple people now? What’s causing you to want to improve? What’s “more effective discipleship” look like? What can you do?

Read More...

Want to help others to reduce their frustrations? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are 5 frustrations you have?
2. How do you feel when these frustrations are present/not present?
3. How would you feel if you could reduce 1 or more of these 5 frustrations?
4. How would reducing 1 or more frustrations impact your ministry?
5. If you reduced all 5 frustrations, what might happen?
6. What helps you reduce your frustrations? What hinders you?
7. What’s 1 frustration you want to reduce?
8. What can you do to reduce that frustration?
9. What will you do?

Want to help others to get organized? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What’s your primary workspace like?
2. What tools do you use to get organized?
3. How do you feel when you’re organized/disorganized?
4. For you, what does being organized look like?
5. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how organized are you?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how organized do you want to be?
7. If you were more organized, what might happen?
8. To get organized, what do you need to keep doing? start doing? stop doing?
9. What will you do?

Want to help others to target their strengths? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What strengths has God given you to pursue His calling? (What truths has God taught you? What relationships has He provided? What abilities, character traits, experiences, and education has He given you?)
2. What excites/frustrates you about your God-given strengths?
3. How do you feel when you can/can’t use your strengths?
4. How does targeting your strengths impact ministry?
5. If you targeted your strengths more, what might happen?
6. What helps you target your strengths? What hinders you?
7. What 2-3 strengths do you want to target?
8. What can you do to target those 2-3 God-given strengths?
9. What will you do?

Want to help others pay attention to their goals? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are your goals?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you like/dislike about paying attention to your goals?
4. How does paying attention to your goals help you accomplish them?
5. If you paid more attention to your goals, what might happen?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you pay to your goals?
7. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), how much attention do you want to pay to your goals?
8. What helps you pay attention on your goals?
9. What will you do?

“This coaching series has been life changing,” says Trudi, a secretary at an international Christian school in Singapore. It’s her final coaching session. She adds, “I’ve gotten a better understanding of God’s calling for me. My personal mission statement gives me something to focus on. And the 5 goals I’ve developed for carrying out my mission help me take action on my mission. I want to keep at it.”
 
Question: What can you ask Trudi? Read More...

Want to help others prioritize? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What are you working on?
2. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
3. What do you want to accomplish in the next month?
4. Which of these things would you categorize as big priorities? Medium priorities? Small priorities?
5. What can you do to ensure that the big priorities get accomplished?
6. What do you think you’ll do?
7. Would you like to talk again about your priorities?

“One of my overall goals is to provide resources for church members that help them pursue God’s calling,” says Bill, a pastor of a 250-member congregation in London.
 
It’s Bill’s first coaching session, and for the next 30 minutes, you ask Bill questions to provoke him to reflect. Read More...

It's important to pursue your God-given calling. Reflecting can help. Here are 7 questions you can reflect on.

“This coaching series has helped me clarify God’s calling,” says Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia. “I like my personal mission statement: Empowering Christians to pursue God’s calling." Read More...

You’re coaching Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia who wants to clarify God’s calling. She’s made good progress. She’s developed a mission statement, identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish in order to carry out her mission, and reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her goals. During her last coaching session, she reflected on what helps and hinders her in achieving her goals. Read More...

Tomoko, a leadership developer based in Cambodia, has been working for several weeks to clarify God’s calling. In previous coaching sessions, she’s:

• Identified 4 problems and 3 opportunities she’s passionate about & blessed by God to address.
• Developed a mission statement.
• Identified 6 goals she needs to accomplish to carry out her mission.
• Reflected on what’s already been accomplished for each of her 6 goals.

Read More...

Want to help others know where they are and where they want to go? Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What’s your mission?
2. To carry out your mission, what goals do you need to achieve?
3. Where are you in terms of progress on each of your goals?
4. What satisfies/concerns you about your progress?
5. What helps you achieve your goals?
6. What hinders you?
7. How can you build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks?
8. What will you do to make progress on your goals?

Want to help others focus on the right things? Ask questions. Ask questions that provoke reflection, for example:

1. What’s going on in your ministry?
2. What people/projects are you spending your time/energy on?
3. What are your goals for this next week/month?
4. Whom do you talk to about your ministry?
5. What’s been satisfying/frustrating?
6. What are the reasons for your feelings of satisfaction and frustration?
7. How can you build on your progress/minimize your roadblocks?
8. What do you think you’ll do?

1. What’s God calling you do to? 
2. What’s your goal?
3. What’s going on?
4. How does God see this?
5. How is God using this in your life?
6. How can you achieve your God-given mission?
7. What will you do?

Three weeks ago, Tim was appointed as field director for his mission. Sitting across the table from you, he says, “Being a mission field director is challenging. I feel good about my new role. I’ve been asking God how He wants me to use the gifts He’s given me, and He answered—I’m now the field director. Read More...

You’re coaching Mark, a math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. He wants to clarify God’s calling. In previous sessions, he identified the problems/opportunities he’s passionate about and blessed by God to address. He also drafted a personal mission statement: Equipping Christians to live for Jesus. Read More...

“What I want to do is to develop a personal mission statement,” says Mark, a high school math teacher at an international Christian school in Korea. “I’m fairly clear on the problems/opportunities God is calling me to address. Having a mission statement will help me focus on these problems/opportunities.”
 
Question: What can you ask Mark? Read More...

You’re listening to Carla, a 43-year-old office worker. She’s experiencing significant change, including a new home, a new pastor at church, and her youngest child starting high school. Carla tells you that as a result of the changes she’s experiencing, she’s more sensitive to her own needs and the needs of others. Read More...

Want to empower others? Provoke them to reflect. How? By asking open-ended questions.

You’re coaching Bob. He shares that he’s turning 47, his oldest child is now a freshman in college, his best friend recently moved to the United Kingdom, and he’s thinking about changing careers. As Bob talks about what’s he’s experiencing, it becomes clear that Bob wants to clarify God’s calling in his life. He wants to develop a personal mission statement and to design goals to achieve that mission statement.
 
Question: What can you ask Bob to help him get started? Read More...

Want to promote reflection in your organization? Design sets of questions and have partners use them as they dialog. Here are 3 sets of questions I designed and then had our mission's EurAsia Team use:
 
Personal life

1. When you were in 4th grade, where did you live? What did you enjoy doing?
2. What’s easy/challenging about living in your country of service?
3. In your recent personal life, what’s been encouraging/discouraging?
4. Overall, how are you feeling?
5. How can I pray for you?

Read More...

Your client wants clarify God’s calling. Asking questions will help.
 
Here are 10 questions you can ask:

1. How has God blessed you to pursue His calling?”
2. What problems and opportunities are you passionate about & blessed by God to address?
3. What’s your mission?
4. What’s it take to carry out your God-given mission?
5. What’s already been accomplished?
6. What helps/hinders you in achieving your goals?
7. What are your options for achieving your goals?
8. What will you do to achieve your goals?
9. What will you do this week?
10. How can you continue to make progress?

People grow as they take responsibility by defining, committing to, and achieving goals. I know I grow when I take responsibility. I’ll bet you do, too.
 
As a coach, you can empower others to take responsibility. Read More...

Coaching is a conversation, in which the coach provokes the client to reflect by asking questions. But asking questions doesn't always work, as the video demonstrates.

Pursuing my calling is both exciting and frustrating. My calling simultaneously feels like a significant way to help others and a massive, unsolvable problem. How about you? How do you feel about your calling? Read More...

Because God is at work in each of His people (Romans 8:28-29), you’re free. Because God is at work, you’re free not to give suggestions or advice to God’s people. Read More...

I like being listened to. When someone really listens to me, I feel heard, understood, and affirmed—and consequently, encouraged and empowered to pursue God’s calling. How about you? How do you feel when someone really listens to you? Read More...

Three weeks ago, Tim was appointed as field director for his mission. Sitting across the table from you, he says, “Being a mission field director is challenging. I feel good about my new role. I’ve been asking God how He wants me to use the gifts He’s given me, and He answered—I’m now the field director." Read More...

Everyone needs encouragement. You. Me. Everyone. How can you encourage others? Here’s a starter list. Read More...

Want to empower others? Provoke them. Provoke them to reflect.

How does reflection empower? Here are responses from members of Connect2Empower, a professional development network for missionaries in Tokyo. Read More...

You are? Good. Try going for 1 hour without asking or thinking a single question. That’s right, not one question. How do you think you’d do? Read More...

You want to empower others. You want to empower others to focus on their goals, work smart, and pursue their callings. And you have decided to use the GROW process, a 4-step process that moves a person from goal to action. Read More...

Asking questions is an effective way to provoke reflection. Here are 10 questions you can ask: Read More...

People want to grow. You want to grow. People you know want to grow. And you can empower them to grow by using LIFE. What’s LIFE? A set of 4 skills. Read More...

Ask questions to help your colleagues focus, think through problems, and reach their goals. For example, if your colleague wants to increase student understanding and application of a biblical perspective, ask: How can questions help? Read More...

You want to help a colleague achieve her goal. You need a process and a list of key skills. You need GROW LIFE. Read More...

How? By asking your colleagues good questions. For example, ask "In 1 sentence, what’s your goal?" Read More...