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How often do you refrain from asking “why” questions?
Ever been asked, “Why did you do that?” I have. While it does get me thinking, it also gets me feeling accused. And sometimes the feeling of being accused gets in the way of me thinking about why I did something.
 
The question “Why did you do that?” taps into childhood memories of really stupid things I’ve done (like when I was a young boy, I thought I could jump across a large manure pit, and fell in instead) and of my parents looking at me, wondering what I was thinking.
 
My point: If you want to help your coaching clients to reflect, and if you don’t want your clients feeling accused, refrain from asking “why” questions.
 
Question: How do often you refrain from asking “why” questions?

• Consistently?
• Usually?
• Sometimes?
• Rarely?

Make sure you consistently refrain from asking “why” questions. One thing that helps me do this is asking questions that start with “what.” For example, “What caused you to do that?” (instead of “Why did you do that?”).
 
Question: What will you do to ensure that you consistently refrain from asking “why” questions?

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Use meeting guidelines
Guidelines define how a team will work together. Developing meeting guidelines can help your team work even more effectively. As a team:

1. Review sample guideline categories—like time and materials. Also review sample meeting guidelines—like “We start and end on time” and “The agenda is sent out ___ days ahead of time.
2. Brainstorm additional guideline categories and meeting guidelines.
3. Choose 4-6 meeting guidelines.
4. Use the guidelines.

Help your team target mission achievement. Use meeting guidelines. Today.
 

*Here are sample meeting guideline categories and guidelines:

• Time: We start and end on time. We start when everyone is present.
• Meeting materials: The agenda is sent out ___ days ahead of time. Meeting minutes are distributed ___ days after the meeting.
• Focus: We complete assigned tasks on time. We stick with the agenda. We don’t get off topic.
• Collaboration: Everyone participates. We invite discussion. One person talks at a time. We seek consensus.